Rainy Day Musings From A Rainy Day Person

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Day of the dead Google Doodle? Nice.

It rained today. Or at least, for a little bit.

You know, I have to say, the rain kinda let me down today. Around 4/10 rain. I’m being generous because it hasn’t rained for at least 12 weeks. This rain really just deserves a 3/10 if we’re going from what I saw today.

Here’s my rain grading rubric:

As a rule of thumb, 0 is LAMMMEE and 10 is extremely, excruciatingly rainbow-unicorn magicalness completely exceeds expectations happiness all over.

Amount of water (measured on a scale of 0-10, in which 0 is GEE THAT WAS RAIN??? and 10 is wow that’s a downpour over there) 5
Cleanliness of water (measured on a scale of 0-10, in which 0 is ew that water is GROSS and 10 is I swallowed a bunch of water and it was on purpose) 7
Ferocity of the rain (measured on a scale of 0-10, in which 0 is that rain is so nice it could be a pet puppy and 10 is that is not a puppy anymore THAT IS A DRAGON) 1
Sound of the rain (measured on a scale of 0-10, in which 0 is I can’t hear anything and 10 is it is loud enough to drown my inner demons) 0
General awesomeness of the rain (measured on a scale of 0-10, in which 0 is no Jonah doesn’t like that it SUCKS and 10 is yes Jonah approves, seal of Jonah’s approval) 3
Average (the average of all five above categories) 3.2
Jonah’s score for the rain (final score for the rain, influenced by the average and how well Jonah’s day has been going) 3.7 3.6

See, I woke up in the middle of night yesterday (in all of my proclaimed sickness, yes, I’ve been sick, thank you very much) and it was pouring. Super stormy. So I hoped it would be stormy today.

But it wasn’t. Sure, there was water everywhere, and I got my socks wet by trying to jump over this puddle and landing in the puddle, but there was no rain sound.

Basically, it was all old rain on the floor and not enough new rain in the air.

Also, the rain stopped right after break. Excuse me, Mr. Rain, but you’ve got a job to do. You can’t just stop and never come back.

Speaking of the rain, there’s no chance for rain anytime later this week. I checked the weather on Google. So, today’s rain was going to get a 3.7. Based on the fact that there’s no hope for rain again this week, that’s a new 3.6.

Rain out.

P.S. Thanks, Alex, for helping me with the weird code stuff for the table. I tried Googling it but I couldn’t make it work.

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