Samoas Are the Best

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Started at 8:15 now we’re here.

Or more accurately, started at 8:15, ended at 3:05, started again at 3:30, ended again at 6:00, started again again at 6:30 and ended again again at 8:00. But close enough.

For those of you who aren’t fluent in time, that’s school, sitting outside of the orchestra room for a long time waiting for Crea and Cas to finish orchestra and doing homework with the online textbook on my phone while procrastinating on the Farewell to Manzanar Annotated Illustration, and going to the high school for AMC 1o.

Which I probably failed. Because I suck at contest math.

Ah, yes. My math homework was wonderful. Thank you for asking.

Since it’s girl scout cookie season, the question I made it up don’t judge still stands: what is my favorite girl scout cookie?

The answer is Samoas.

How doth I love thee Samoas? Let me counteth le ways.

All other girl scout cookies are gross. I have never met a girl scout cookie I liked except Samoas, because they’re super amazing and are literally the reason for this list. Let me listeth le examples:

Thin Mints are peppermint and chocolate. Who decided that was a good cookie? Peppermint alone is gross minus candy canes, which are always amazing. Peppermint and chocolate together are grosser.

Tagalongs are peanut butter and chocolate. And yes, I hate peanut butter. I started a club with Lima Bean. We talk about how much we hate peanut butter during lunch. Sometimes we chant like crazy people.

Trefoils are shortbread cookies. What is shortbread? Long answer: a traditional biscuit that’s right- it’s not even a cookie made from sugar, butter, and flour. Short answer: gross.

Do-si-dos other than having a really lame name like almost all girl scout cookies. It’s probably a girl scout cookie to have a lame and confusing name that’s kinda funny nevertheless are peanut butter and oatmeal. Remember that I hate peanut butter? Well, you should, cause I just said it. I also hate oatmeal. And oatmeal cookies. Yay.

Rah-Rah Raisins are whole grain, oatmeal, raisins no wayyy, and yogurt cookies. Shall I break it to you how many of those I like? Yep. None.

Savannah Smiles confuse me. Well, mostly the name. But they’re lemon cookies? And lemon and cookies don’t go well together. I have tried many lemon cookies in my lifetime. Crea likes them. I don’t. Powdered sugar is my least favorite type of sugar, too.

They don’t sell Cranberry Citrus Crisps, Lemonades, Thanks-A-Lots, Toffee-tastics, and Trios at school, but that doesn’t mean I like them. Well, I haven’t tried them. But according to their online descriptions, I probably wouldn’t like them very much.

Samoas are caramel it’s car-ah-mell. Not car-mell. cookies. They’re literally coated with caramel. And. Caramel. Is. The. Best.

Samoas look like little donuts, because they have wholes in the middle. That’s a plus.

They have dark chocolate? And while I’m not a big fan of dark chocolate give me white chocolate every day I’m there for the sugar not the cacao, the dark chocolate on Samoas tastes like milk chocolate. It’s super not bitter. Is “not bitter” a thing? I don’t think so, but whatever. It’s late. I’m tired. You’re not reading this. Let’s call it a go.

They’re sprinkled with toasted coconut. And while I hate coconut, and especially coconut flakes, toasted coconut is usually okay. And toasted coconut on Samoas actually tastes like coconut coconut for some reason? I’m shocked.

I might try making some of the Samoa recipes with Sky. That is, if I buy some, don’t eat them all, and block Cas from eating them all. Which is highly improbably. Someday, recipes. Someday.

So, obviously, Samoas are the best. While there aren’t as many cookies per box (Samoas rack in at about 15 per box, while Trefoils have 36 and Thin Mints have 28 and Shout Outs! I really have no idea what they are are the grand champions at 40 per box, Samoas are the best.

Buy me Samoas.

This is Jonah. Jonah says hi. Jonah says hi as the car goes by.
Bye-bye, Jonah. This is goodbye.

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