It’s Going to Reign Today Geddit Geddit Okay I’ll Show Myself Out

Standard

There’s a lizard called the Satanic Leaf Gecko and it’s super cool-looking and okay bye I just wanted to tell you that but now you know

It rained. And you know what time it is!

It’s Adventure Time time for another Rainy Day Rubric!

As always, 0 is LAMMMEE and 10 is extremely, excruciatingly rainbow-unicorn magicalness completely exceeds expectations happiness all over. Let’s do this.

I may have copy pasted that from the original rain rubric and just changed a couple things, but you can’t prove that I didn’t write it myself, so ha.

Also it’s not plagiarizing if you plagiarize yourself.

Amount of water (measured on a scale of 0-10, in which 0 is GEE THAT WAS RAIN??? and 10 is wow that’s a downpour over there) 4
Cleanliness of water (measured on a scale of 0-10, in which 0 is ew that water is GROSS and 10 is I swallowed a bunch of water and it was on purpose) 7.5
Ferocity of the rain (measured on a scale of 0-10, in which 0 is that rain is so nice it could be a pet puppy and 10 is that is not a puppy anymore THAT IS A DRAGON) 3.5
Sound of the rain (measured on a scale of 0-10, in which 0 is I can’t hear anything and 10 is it is loud enough to drown my inner demons) 3
General awesomeness of the rain (measured on a scale of 0-10, in which 0 is no Jonah doesn’t like that it SUCKS and 10 is yes Jonah approves, seal of Jonah’s approval) 6
Average (the average of all five above categories) 4.8
Jonah’s score for the rain (final score for the rain, influenced by the average and how well Jonah’s day has been going) 5.1

I’m feeling generous today. Fight me.

Confusing? Yes. Contradictory? Yes. Questionable? Yes. Oxymoron? No. Jumbo shrimp.

My last rainy day rubric was back in November. Ugh, that’s so last year.

Let’s review.

It is no longer raining, but that’s okay because it’s been starting and stopping since lunch.

It actually hasn’t been raining that long. It started during fourth period, and now it’s on and off a lot.

Anyways, the rain was pretty good while it was still raining. Happy rain. It was really nice.

The only thing that sucks is that it’s not raining anymore. Get your life together, rain gods. I’m talking to you, Zeus.

Actually no I’m not because Zeus is a god and I’ve read enough Percy Jackson to know not to get the gods mad at me. Nothing good happens.

Pretend I never said anything.

According to the weather forecast, there’s little chance of rain around five. Which I guess makes sense why it’s not raining right now.

But it should start again around seven or eight. I’m waiting for you, rain. Make it count.

-Jonah

Advertisements

One thought on “It’s Going to Reign Today Geddit Geddit Okay I’ll Show Myself Out

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s