and now I can actually say this because this is the third whoop whoop third time’s the charm, WARNING: HERE BE SPOILERS. DO NOT CROSS OCEAN. SPOILERS ARE DANGEROUS.
and I can also actually say that because this is as usual since it’s the third time I’ve done this WARNING: CHARACTER-CENTRIC. I AM NOT SORRY. YOU WILL BE IF YOU WANT A MORE WELL-ROUNDED SUMMARY/REVIEW/SLIGHTLY SERIOUS BOOK REVIEW.
Finally, as usual
I never specified this in the Unwind review, but it’s true, I am not looking at the book while I do this. It’s impromptu and possibly incorrect. Kindly you can be as mean as you want don’t worry about my feelings correct me if I’m wrong.
So I have “graduated”
ironic since guess who’s graduating middle school tomorrow? me from the Gangsey/the Raven kids/whatever you call them. And now on to the ladies of 300 Fox Way. Much amaze. Very irony. Waow. So cool.
Since I’m talking about 300 Fox Way as a place and not as a group of people as I usually do, I should probably explain what it is.
300 Fox Way is, unsurprisingly, an address. In this house live a bunch of people. All except for one
cough cough cough BLUE cough cough are psychic. They run a psychic house. Psychicness occurs and they are all super cool.
I’ll be talking about
haha yeah right self “talking” you’re totally talking Maura, Calla, Persephone, Jimi, and Orla. I will also talk about Gwenllian and Artemus because where else would I put them they end up living in 300 Fox Way as well. Okay but Artemus is a tree. I hear you. Relax, we’ll get there soon enough. At the end of this post, but still soon enough.
So. Maura is the Cool Mom™ and she is rather removed from being a mom but she is Blue’s mom. She is very psychic and makes bad decisions.
Like, for example, she has a baby with a tree. Then she falls in love with a hitman. And then -because that’s not enough-, when she’s dating the hitman, she goes underground to get the tree and leaves a cryptic letter and her entire family is worried. Seriously.
Arguably these are all good decisions and also decisions are neither inherently good nor bad, but that will be covered in an upcoming essay*.
Next, Calla. Calla is cool. Do not fight Calla, cause she will win.
Calla is like Ronan, except better. That’s her.
Anyways, Calla is witty and also does acrobatics with a scarf in the living room. Also, she can use psychic powers through touch. Overall, very cool.
Basically Maura is mom friend and Calla is sister friend. Gansey is dad friend. Thanks, Ronan.
Persephone, who is dead, is also one of my favorites. Notice how my favorites are both dead.
However, Noah died before the books began. Persephone died in the books.
Anyways, Persephone is the wispy wanderer. This is a term Crea and I created to represent that type of writing or character or person or whatever that is just kinda serene and transparent and smooth.
You get it, right?
Remember how I said Adam got help from Blue’s family to become Psychic McPsychicness?
I lied. He just got Persephone’s help. But I didn’t really want to say Persephone, or even 300 Fox Way, since I’d have to explain if you didn’t read the books and enjoyed spoilers.
I’m just lazy, okay?
And then Persephone died when doing mirror magic. Or maybe it was scrying. Same difference.
Don’t do mirrors or scrying, kids. They’re like drugs. Also should I talk about Neeve? I’m talking about Neeve.
For those of you who didn’t take my character topic list at face value: gold star. For those of you who did: you tried gold star.
And now for a little interlude of Neeve. Neeve is this psychic who just wants to be famous. Same, Neeve. Same.
And then in order to get famous, she visits 300 Fox Way because Henrietta is on a ley line.
Translation: Magic flows through Henrietta like electricity through a lamp. That’s why there’s so much magic in the book.
And there she does mirror magic
or maybe scrying I’m not sure, which, as we discussed, you’re not supposed to do because it is a drug. A drug. You hear me, kids?
they don’t really like her cause she’s weird thinks she’s dead. But surprise surprise. She’s alive and helps out this evil person do evil things with a demon. To hear more about evil people and evil things, dial 4. Just kidding. Wait till part 4 of this comes out.
Anyways, I’m going to talk about Jimi now.
Jimi is sentimental and believes in herb magic. I think this makes her the healthy hipster of the 300 Fox Way world.
She is not part of the trio that is Maura, Calla, and Persephone. Which is sad. She is also not really a main character, even in Fox Way. Which is also sad.
Then Orla is Jimi’s daughter
I thinks. Orla is psychic but also she’s a couple years older than Blue, while everyone else is an adult.
Orla is obsessed with love, and bubblegum, and also there is this scene on a boat
thanks to Richard Boatkid Gansey where she and Blue have a not-quite-sibling battle. It’s amusing to read.
Now that we’re done with the main people of 300 Fox Way
Blue not included since you’ve already read about her, time for Gwenllian and Artemus.
I’ll try to make this sound normal.
Gwenllian was buried alive and is surprisingly old. However, she is still cool. She knows too much and is kinda crazy. Also, her dad
I think is the really dead Welsh king Gansey tries to find.
Gwenllian is an A+ singer as well. And she’s a mirror like Blue.
Don’t do mirror magic unless you’re a mirror, kids.
Gwenllian hates Artemus, who is Blue’s dad. He is a tree. I will now explain.
Artemus has two forms: human and tree. He can live in trees. He has history with both Gwenllian and Really Dead Welsh King™. He also has history with Maura. He has no caping ability.
His first instinct is to turn into a tree when danger comes. He and Blue have a conversation which leads to Gansey’s second -and this time, willing- death.
*This essay may never show up. If it does, I’ll link it. If it doesn’t, pretend I wrote you an essay.